Vibrance Institute
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Emotional Connection:  Families with Challenging Children
 

Relationship, Parent, and Family Coaching

Create the Family You Want (Even with ADHD, Bipolar, ODD, and RAD In Your Family)

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Do you have the family you intended?  Or are you at your wits end?  If you are struggling, know that you are not alone.  In fact our coaches and facilitators have experienced similar struggles and understand your pain.  If you are hopeless after seeking help from expert after expert without success, we are ready to offer you hope.  We assist families who want to create a healthy family life, and we specialize in families struggling with children diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Oppositionally Defiant Disorder, and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

At Vibrance we offer parent, family and relationship coaching using a structured format to explore each members attitudes, beliefs and assumptions driving behavior within the parent and family units.   But we go well beyond standard coaching techniques.  We know that children who have suffered early trauma like adoption, foster care, abuse, neglect or any of a number of traumas present with profound challenges that regular family coaching cannot address, nor can medical professionals or even most therapists.  If you are ready for hard work that can change your life and that of your child, then we are here to give you the best that we can of coaching, training, experiential learning, and intensive in home work to assist you in creating the family you want.

Family Coaching for Transformational Results
Coaching is a proven, effective method for assisting individuals, teams, families and organizations to achieve their goals and dreams in all domains of life. Vibrance Coaches begin with the belief that each client is whole and complete and works perfectly based on their current understanding and life experiences.  Coaching provides a structured framework using powerful questions to explore current beliefs relative to declared purpose and goals to find a pathway for achieving life purpose.  

Unlike the therapy model with an underlying assumption that there is mental dysfunction, under coaching we know clients have all the resources needed to create life change.  Coaches assist clients in discovering and using those resources to obtain their goals.  We know that each of us has an innate ability to discharge our distresses and achieve our dreams through intention, commitment and clarity.
 
Coaching is one of the most effective processes for addressing family dynamics, and creating a new pathway to create the future you want for you and your family. Patterns of non-working behavior in each member of the family compromise relationships.  Too often disruptive children and teens in trouble are blamed for family dysfunction.  However it is never just the child.  Rather the dysfunction tends to reflect much deeper issues.  In one-on-one and family coaching, individual family members, and the entire family, will meet with a Certified Vibrance Coach on a regular schedule, depending on the needs and characteristics of a particular family.  Under the safety of coaching, individual fears, disappointments and frustrations, as well as love and hope can be shared openly among family members, or with the coach in complete confidentiality. 
  

The Traumatized Child

Creating the family you want may look different than your dreams and other parent's experiences.  The tender togetherness, love, joy, and fun times you fondly envisioned may now instead manifest as a state of siege.   If you dread each day wondering what disaster is ahead, welcome to the traumatized child's world.  It is easy to blame our child, our spouse, ourselves for the war zone in our home, and it is easy for others to blame us for not doing it right.  If your child is adopted or a foster care child; if he or she is diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar, RAD, ODD, Aspergers or other emotional disability; if your child bites, screams, tantrums, lies, manipulates, causes trouble in school, your child is afraid.  Fear is the foundation for non-working behavior.  During our parent and family coaching, from intensive in-home work, to relationship coaching for parents and teens, we explore reality for each member of the family, where differences occur and opportunities emerge, what beliefs and assumptions are driving the behavior, and how to bring harmony into the home and our relationships.

Parent and Family

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The foundation for every family are the parents of the family,   Parents create the frame, experience, and atmosphere within the home.  When parents are attuned and loving to each other, they are modeling a loving relationship for their children.  When they parent in loving consistent styles, their children know what to expect and feel safe.  But when this is not the case, children are learning something very different.  Are you living the life you expected?  Are you surprised by your own behavior and that of your child?

What may have been true before your challenging traumatized child entered the family, and where you are now may be very different than you expected.  Your personal challenges may have emerged in ways you never could have imagined.  It should not hurt to be a mom and dad.  It shouldn't hurt to be a kid.  It doesn't have to, but it takes focused and deep work within yourself, with your partner and with your children. If you feel hopeless, now is the time to emerge and transform.  The healing pathway is challenging, rewarding, and life changing.

Services

Family Intensives
For families dealing with adopted, foster and other very challenging children, this is an in-home family centered coaching and emergence counseling experience normally lasting two to three days.

One-on-One Coaching: relationship, parent, family, teen
Vibrance offers relationship coaching, parent coaching, family coaching with teens, and teen coaching to offer a safe open context for clients to explore their relationship patterns, their beliefs that are aligned and in conflict, and establish a structured process to create effective communication and connection within the family.

Experiential Seminars
We offer experiential seminars for adults and teens that delve deeply into beliefs and patterns that support transformation and creating new pathways for being in relationship with others.

Parent Forums
We all need support in our transformation.  This is particularly true for parents with challenging children.  These forums are designed for ongoing training, connection and support for our clients.

How We Parent...

Each of us was parented differently.  What we learned growing up, how we were nurtured and hurt, all influence how we show up for our own kids.  Our expectations of our children are founded on the expectations our parents held for us, as well as what we expect from ourselves.  How we show love, encourage, discipline, and punish are all linked to our own personal experiences.  These early experiences in our family, in our community and the decade we were born all shaped our attitudes, beliefs, and assumptions about ourselves and the world around us.  These in turn influence our behavior with others and serve as the foundation for our personal values.  

This is our world...and we expect our children to see it our way.  This may work okay when everyone's temperment and life experiences are the same.  Unfortunately they are absolutely never the same!  This includes the two parents, and the individual children within the same family, and that means identical twins too.   We are each wonderfully unique, a uniqueness born of our genetics, gestation, birth, and early life experiences as an infant, toddler and grade schooler.  The lessons we learned during our critical developmental period from conception to age six tend to endure for life, whether they work well for us...or not.  

When it comes to being in relationship with your spouse or partner, and being in relationship with your parents and kids, there is no more important opportunity to improve your life and create the family you want.  There is no place more likely to frustrate us or create heart wrenching pain.  Often we find ourselves repeating the same patterns of establishing relationships and having them fail, over and over again.  Relationship, Parent and Family Coaching is designed to explore your personal attitudes, beliefs and assumptions, and those of your family members, to discover what is working for you, and what is not, so you can break the cycle of pain and create the family you want.  This is true for all families and children.  If your child has an emotional or learning disability, it becomes that much more challenging and critical.
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Photos used under Creative Commons from wickenden, ed4553